Ok, as you can probably guess, Jason’s story of the shooting wasn’t exactly accurate. First of all, there was no dealing like a table Gretzky or anything like it the card simply hit Cooley’s towers of chips and fell face up for a nano-second. Now, since Cooley knew he was almost surely going to win (4 of a kind), instead of lamenting “Misdeal,” thereby risking getting redealt a shitty hand and losing said “HUGE pot,” he should have picked it up and played it out and won the WHOLE pot … but no, he was jonesing to make another 75 cents off of an inebriated Dan. Whatever. That’s really not even the point, really. I threw a 20 spot in after a while of resisting matching the pot, snarling, “I’d rather throw this in than count those chips and matching them” … the ripping didn’t happen til these those pansies starting bitching about how they were going to split up the 20 bucks. That’s when I took it back, tore it in half, and handed half to each of them … when they bitched about that, I pulled out another 20 and did it again. Yeah, dramatic, sure, but whatever … fuck it. It was late, drunken, heated, and I was on the spot … reactions, whatever the fuck.
Still not the point, though. I’d talk about my mother quicker than any of em, so that’s not why the gun came out. I just wanted to erase that fucking Cooley-grin off his fucking face, you know? That you’re so ridiculous, I can’t even laugh about it because I don’t feel a thing about you look he had on his face, the narrowed eyes and thin downturned lips … OH! I’d shoot him again if I hadn’t already done it!
But he’s right– I’m real sorry about it now. I feel like a real shitheel about it. I was drunk, you know … I was just describing what it felt like when I shot him the other night. So, hey, today I bought him the new “Dark Side of the Moon” 30th anniversary re-issue … something he can maybe zone out to while he’s still on the meds. Supposed to be real crazy on the panning and what have you.
Despite it all, I love that guy, you know. I will never ever shoot him again.
