Now, we all know the classy thing to do is remain calm and cool and do the right things that peo­ple wouldn’t expect from you. That’s how it goes down in hind­sight … the obvi­ous choice there like stereo­typ­i­cal HOTEL neon sign, right?

Yeah, well, c’est la vie or what­ever the fuck. Before you know it there’s a today and you’re tap­ing together the $20 bills you tore in half the night before. Apolo­gies and back­slaps aside, it gets you some­times, the rash and ready, how quick it comes and how far it goes.

Cooley before I shot himWhat I’m say­ing, I guess, is that I shot Jason last night. He’s not dead, but he’s messed up pretty good. Shot him in the shoul­der after a small quar­rel about a mis­deal and match­ing the pot, which had become some­what sub­stan­tial since we were play­ing high stakes by this point of the evening. We’ve been keep­ing a small pis­tol in the freezer ever since receiv­ing some thinly veiled threats from Con­stel­la­tion Records in Mon­treal, sim­ply because we beat them out on an eBay bid­ding war over an antique print­ing press. Unfor­tu­nately, we had set up poker in the kitchen since the spare room was filled with gear (see photo), and I had my back to the fridge. When things got heated, I pulled it out, mostly just to add some seri­ous­ness to the argue­ment … it seemed in dire need of some grav­ity, you know? Every­one quickly stood up and backed away from the table– that is, every­one except Coo­ley, who just crossed his arms and said some­thing deri­sive about me hav­ing yel­low shit inside me, I can’t really remem­ber what it was– we were all pretty drunk– but it evi­dently was pretty bad because next thing you know .… things took a turn.

Any­way, he should be out of the hos­pi­tal tomor­row after­noon … I don’t think anything’s going to hap­pen. We agreed to tell the police that, yes, you guessed it, he was clean­ing his gun when it acci­dently went off. If we keep our sto­ries straight, every­thing should be ok– CD3s will keep com­ing, I’ll still be here as your hum­ble web­mas­ter, Cooley’ll fin­ish the new School Bus, et cetera, ad infini­tum. I just hope the wound doesn’t affect his music too much…after all, it was his right shoul­der, his strum­ming arm. Might be a while before he can do his Townsend wind­mills. Let’s hope not.

Jason, I’m real sorry about that. I love you, buddy. Get well soon!